Dont marry a person u can live with

Marry someone u cannot live without......

• Be yourself, there are enough other people.


• When your youngest child needs sex education, you have badly informed your elder children on the subject.


• Friendly words do not have to be long, the echo never dies.


• The heart and the brain are neighbours, but they will never be friends.


• You can close your eyes for certain facts, but not for the memories.


• What do you have to do when you fall into a river with a sign "Forbidden to swim?"


• The present is just as mysterious as the future


• He said:"I thank you for the wonderful talk." ... I had only been listening.


• Woman know that they are not that pretty any more when they have nothing to wear.


• People who do not want to be disturbed, usually already are disturbed


• A laugh is the shortest distance between two people.


• A lot of people are in pain out of fear to be happy


• A lot of people are in pain out of fear to be happy


• I see things the way they are and say: Why? .................. I dream of things that never were and say: Why not?


• Law of Murphy..... Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong sooner or later......Murphy was an optimist.


• A lot of people were never happy because they thought it had yet to come.


• Life is what happens when you plan to do other things -- John Lennon


• I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well.


• Time is something that makes sure that everything does nog happen at the same moment.


• Women have usually nothing to wear and no room to put it away!


• copernicus said:"men with dick in peanutbutter is fucking nuts."


• Laugh on your one and the world thinks you are an idiot.


• The strongest musle of the human body is the tongue.


• "The flashier kind of widow may insist only only sleeping with black men during the first year after death."


• It is better to be fair than to be popular!


• A kiss that says it all is seldom a first edition.


• "There's no bigger fan of the opposite sex than me, and I have the bills to prove it."


• All I ever wanted is what others have.


• Life is not short, it is being dead that lasts such a long time!


• "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."


• "We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like."


• "It's not the people who are in prison that worry me. It's the people who aren't."


• "Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus."


• "He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news."


• "At school we had a name for guys who were 'trying to get in touch with themselves'."


• "Mr Anaesthetist, if the patient can stay awake, surely you can."


• "Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines."


• "My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father."


• If I told you that you remind me of my mom, would you tuck me in bed tonight?


• Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.


• Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
  He was looking for Pooh!


• Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
  Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.


• I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.


• "If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?"


• I'm sweet like sugar, soft like suede, but unlike Nintendo, I never get played.


• Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks


• "Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and